|
It was night before Christmas
And I was tossing and turning in bed.
I'd got to go downstairs
To see if mi mam ‘n’dad had meant what they'd said.
I’d sent letters up the chimney,
I really wanted a Meccano construction set.
But me mam had said as all I woz gerrin,
Woz a lesson as I’d never forget.
So, darn I crept---
Too frittened to make any noise.
Santa's gotta 'ave left summat,
Some spice, or money, or toys.
It was cold and dark,
I could hear a strange tick-tocking,
But I plucked up enough courage,
To take a sneaky look in my stocking.
There were nowt!!!
She was rate, was me mum!
I'd bin proper naughty,
And Santa 'ant come.
Other day, mi dad had bin to pub,
And din't gerrom till it were late.
Me mam weren't very happy,
There worra brown ring round his plate.
"Where's tha bin till nar?",
Said me mam, wringing her hands in her frock
"It's not that late", said me dad,
"There must be summat wrong wi' thi clock !"
Me dad were dipping gravy in his tea,
To soften it, like tha duz wi' a biscuit.
But there's only one thing on my mind,
If clocks brock, I'll fix it.
I knew where me dad's toolbox were,
He'd hid it in toilet, outside.
I'd soon gorra 2 pound hammer,
And a screwdiver, wi' a blade 2 inch wide.
It took some doing,
To gerrit to bits.
But back soon came off,
When I'd gennit a few hits.
I could see what were up wi' it,
There were a coiled spring catching on gong.
I gennit a poke - and it shot out on to floor,
Now its a straight spring--- 15 feet long!!
Soon, only things left in rate place,
Were numbers that were stuck on to dial,
Then I could hear me mam coming!
Time to have a go at 4 minute mile.
I could hear her shouting "Look what tha's done!
Tha gooin to get a rate crack!
God knows what's gooin to 'appen,
When thi fatha gets back?"
I could hear 'em mumbling when I walked in,
They'd clout me, but they weren't really bullies.
Then they went out to catch bus, and said,
"Were gooin to swap summat, at Woollies".
Christmas Day, me mam said,"It's theer,
It's too big to go in thi stocking"
"I know we said as tha'd get nowt,
But that's what tha can 'ear,tick--tocking."
I took off the wrapping,
And got through to the box.
I knew summat were wrong,
It were covered in pictures of clocks!
Tha dunt need two guesses,
To know worrit wor'
But I gritted my teeth,
I woz determined not to roar!
All that day, I behaved,
Tried my best to be good.
So mam made sure I'd get tanner,
When she doled out Xmas pud.
She rung up last week "me mantle clocks packed in"
"Its old ", I said, "I'll get thee a new 'un,don’t fret,it dunt matter!"
What she dunt know is, that, for last 50 years,
I've been squirting the bugger wi' watter.
For a few brief moments,
Once again I was a 7 year old kid,
When I chucked that old clock in dustbin.
And shed a tear when I shut down the lid.
|
|
