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Come here, you laughing little monkey,
Come and sit theesen down on my knee.
Wotstha bin dooin, today then? How many boys aztha kissed?
I’m gooin’ to tickle thee till tha tells me!
Oh, no! How come anyone so little can dispense more liquid,
Than a whole fleet of water bowsers?
Goo an’ tell thi mam as tha needs thee nappy changing,
While I go upstairs and change mi trousers!
What’s all this green stuff on mi cardigan?
A few minutes ago it were dangling from thi nose!
Goo and see if tha can find thee grandma,
I look like changing all me clothes!
Wheers thi mam and thi grandma gone?
They can’t expect me to know what to do!
What’s that blinkin’ awful smell?
No! Don’t tell me! It is! It’s you!!
Shall we go up garden and play in paddlin’ pool?
And I’ll gi’ thee a good hose down?
At least it’ll gi’ us some breathin’ space,
Them two must have sneaked off into Town.
Don’t squeal and cry like that, I know as watter’s cold,
But, look, they’re runnin’ back now, they’d only bin next door,
And thi mam and thi grandma’s having a rait goo at me,
Callin’ me all kinds of names, I can’t think what for!
Duztha know, little’un? There’s lots of wise sayings,
But this , tha’d better believe.
When it comes to grandkids, it really is better,
To give rather than receive!
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