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I turn on my pillow and gaze in awe and wonderment,
Tha theer - snoring away, gob wide oppen, catching flies.
Tha used to be such a dainty, pretty little thing,
Christ, how time flies!
We used to run, care-free, up Bozer Hill, holding hands,
Tha wunt be able to nar, not wi’ them thunder thighs!
That was before cellulite had been invented,
Int it funny how time flies?
Tha danced and sung to The Beatles and The Tremeloes,
Nar all tha does is stamp thi feet, nag and moan.
Nar, you can’t even buy records anymore,
Yes, time has certainly flown!
I can see thee now, bopping and twisting away,
It dint matter back then if tha accidentally trood on mi toes,
Burrif tha did nar, it’d be an ‘ospital job!
Dunt it make thee wonder where time goes?
And them wavy locks of golden hair,
Are now a funny shade between silver and blue,
Curled rait tight on to top o’ thi ‘ead,
Goodbye - pigtails and pony tails - time flew.
For years I‘ve failed to grow a moustache,
But nar, thars gone and dunnit, wi’art even trying!
Not that I’m jealous or ‘owt, its just another example
Of time flying!
When I see mi mates wi’ their missuses,
I’m glad, I can see its not just happened to me.
They’re in same boat an’all. Time has travelled,
With increasing velocity!
I do! I feel sorry for how ageing affects wimmin,
And I wish scientists could come up with a pill.
So they could be more like us blokes, well most on us, anyrode,
Who never change – for us, time has stood still!
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