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Me head thudded against ceiling,
As she plonked herself down on settee.
“Has tha seen theme for next week, it’s SWEET,
Tha can write a nice poem about me!”
All rate then ‘owt for a quite life – pass us me pencil.
My wife’s so sweet,
Her kisses are passionate and lingerin’.
We don’t need to put sugar in our tea,
She just has to dip her finger in!
My wife’s so sweet,
Even when we were courting and wooing,
She’d sit alongside me. Like she’s doing right now,
Not nosey, just interested in what I’m doing.
My wife’s so sweet,
Even her trumps smell of honey.
If I could catch ‘em and bottle ‘em,
I’d make me ‘sen lots of money!
I wonder if I bought some of that super glue stuff,
And an old fashioned zinc coated pail,
Would it stick to her bum? I’m digressing,
I’d better get back to me tale.
My wife’s so sweet,
“What’s that petal? You’re going to bed?”
“Night night my precious”. Now I can write down
What I really should have said.
My wife’s so FAT
She’s covered in layers of blubber.
She wobbles when – Christ! She’s coming back!
Quick, where’ve I put that piggin’ rubber?
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