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I’ve gorra little friend, or at least, I think she is!
She sits on my pillow every night and watches out for me,
I’ve never gen her a proper name, I suppose I should have,
I just know her as the Hair Fairy.
She’s a mischievious little thing,
And her sense of humour is quite odd,
My hair’s a Tony Curtis when I go to bed,
But, when I gerrup in a morning , it’s Ken Dodd!!
She sits there, twiddling her fingers in my hair,
I don’t know why, it must be boring,
But she can't wait to get her hands in and motorin’,
The minute as I start snoring.
She practises every knot that is known to Man,
And I‘m sure she’s using knitting needles at the back,
One night, I’m going to catch her red – handed,
And, I’ll give her bum such a smack!!
A while back, she started on me eye-brows,
Splattering ‘em at all angles, orlovver me face,
It’s awkward and dangerous, tha knows,
Havin’ to use steam iron, to gerrem back into place!
She’s managed to get a tiny pot of super glue,
And, to amuse hersen, for last couple ‘a years,
She’s bin pullin’ hair outa me temples,
And stickin’ it up me nose and in me ears!
She probably thinks it’s a bit of harmless fun,
Stickin’ em in various orifices that don’t really matter.
But I’ll tell thee summat, when tha tries to pluck ‘em out,
It dunt haif make thee eyes watter!
But I know I’m going to get my own back,
In years to come, revenge will be mine.
I’ll be fast asleep, but she’ll be hard at work,
Wi’ Slap-Head polish, gi’ing it a brilliant shine!
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