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"There’s not many here,Bill"
Said Hon. Sec. Ted
"There’s only me and thee
And Chairman Fred.”
"We'll have to start meeting,
We're already well behind.
Did tha tell everybugger?"
"Well, all that I could find!"
In walked Jimmy. "Heyup Bill,
Heyup Ted 'n' Fred”.
"I'm not stopping—it’s a parnd a pint,
Darn at Nag's 'ed."
"Hode on a minute", said Ted,
As he grabbed hold of Jimmy's coat.
"I walk past theer everyday,
And I din't know nowt."
"Its that new landlord---,
If there's owt gooin off at night--,
He puts it on that computer thing,
Tha knows, yon website."
"About six foot four",
Up jumped Fred, with delight.
"What tha on abart?"-- "Same as thee,
Ron Webb's Height !"
"Weer talking abart computers'
Not bloody big Ron!!
Get sat back down,
And switch thi 'earin aid on!!"
"Why dunt tha go on internet,Ted?"
Said Jimmy, "Duz tha think it's too dear?
Theres a bloke cums in club sez he'll do it,
Only 300 quid for year!"
"I know-- I've seen 'im.
And I can think of 300 better spent!
Well, for a start,
We need a new sign for the Gents."
"Aye! He's a big bugger--
That Ron Webb", said Fred.
"Shurrup!! I've a letter from brewery,
It’s here, waiting to be read."
Ted started reading this letter,
His forehead fixed in a frown.
“It sez here, if we don't do better'
Brewerys gunner shut us down”.
Up jumped Fred again,
His chest swelled with pride,
"I know worrel fetch more folk in!
A bigger blackboard outside!!"
"Tha might be rate theer,
There could be summat in it!!
Heyup Hon. Sec. Ted.
Hatha writing this darn, in minnits?"
"Heyup, Jimmy-- I bet tha glad
Tha stopped a bit nar, lad.
Tha sees these computers and things,
They're only a passing fad!!"
A fortnit later they're waiting
For the new, big blackboard to arrive.
Said Fred, "I've bin thinking--
I bet Ron's six foot five!"
"Shurrup Fred and giz an 'and
To fix this great thing to the wall.
Now everybugger'll know whats going off,
'Cos I've ordered some new chalk an'all!"
It was no effort for bulldozer,
As it knocked the walls down to floor.
The only thing that were worth saving,
Were new sign over Gent's door.
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