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Signora! Signora!!
Coom kweek! Shoofinella!
Zat man over zere’
He complain about a di paella!
“Go back and tell him,
There’s nowt wrong wi’ it, and, Manuel!!
It’s not shoofinella---
It’s chuffin’ ‘ell!!
I’ve telled thee that many times,
Till am blue in face!
After all these years, thi’ English
It’s a piggin’ disgrace!
Tha mecks that many mistakes,
Enough is enough!
Sit thissen darn and I’ll teach thee’
About the word “chuff”.
A chuff is a bird,
Summat like a crow.
But this is information ,
As tha dunt need to know.
LEARN THIS!!
I’m chuffed -------------------- I’m happy
I’m well chuffed--------------- even happier
I’m dead chuffed---------------couldn’t be happier
Chuff off------------------------- go away - quickly
Don’t give a chuff-------------- don’t care
That’s a chuff-------------------- surprisingly bad
Chuff me ------------------------- surprisingly good
You’re a chuff ------------------- an insult
Chuffin’ cum ‘ere ,lad--------- a sexual invitation
Well, I’ll be chuffed! ----------- the subject of the sexual invitation is a puff!
Chuffin’ bog off then! --------- as before, not a sexual invitation
He’s a nice chuff! --------------- he’s not nice
Chuffin’ ‘ell --------------------- summats not quite right
Chuffin’ Chesterfield ---------- they always beat Rotherham at football
So here is a sentence to help thee understand!
Chuffin’ Chesterfields chuffin’ beat us a “chuffin’” gen!. I’m not well chuffed! They’re nice chuffs, they are! I wish they’d chuff off back to Derbyshire. Chuff me! We’ve still got to chuffin’ play ‘em at their chuffin’ ground ? Chuffin’ ‘ell!!
So, nar as tha knows how to use it,
Tell that bloke who’s paellas a bit tough,
To shurrup and gerrit etten,---------------
Cos tha dunt gi’ a chuff!!
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